Newsflash: Realtors vs. Lawyers

I’m posting this in response to the redditor who recently created a post comparing realtors to lawyers. He tirelessly argued that Lawyers are scammers and all the work is actually done by paralegals with GEDs, but Realtors actually work hard and deserve to be paid well for their expertise and vast knowledge. It made me think… In modern history the most powerful person in the world has been the President of the United States. 27 of the 46 Presidents were lawyers. But what if…instead of being lawyers those 27 presidents had been Realtors? What would those presidencies look like? Here are my predictions: The official presidential portraits would depict them 20 years younger and include a bad tagline using their name as a pun. “Hoovering up solutions for a brighter tomorrow”, “Bush-whacking the competition!”, or “Barack ‘n Roll, leading the nation with rhythm and soul!”The oval office would always smell like cookies. They wear their name tag to cabinet meetings and hand out their business card during state dinners. The state of the union would be an hour long motivational speech about how we can all achieve the American Dream if we simply ask for referrals, keep a positive mindset, and HUSTLE! Every few years, when the vibe feels off, they transfer to a different party. They post a picture of ever new law to their Instagram with the caption “PASSED!”Rather than utilizing their cabinet, whenever they need presidential help they create a post on reddit asking strangers for advice. Most of the time their posts are of a personal nature where couples counseling is the obvious solution “The first lady keeps saying that I should fight to increase the federal minimum wage, but I don’t want to. Every discussion turns into an argument and I feel like she doesn’t respect me anymore. She’s being a real bitch about it, what should I do?” They also ask questions with complex, nuanced answers without providing any details like “How do I get more votes?”. For some odd reason they ask that a refrigerator be thrown in for free during every negotiation.