Newsflash: [CA] Joint owner of home, want to either sell or buy out the other owner and they refuse to do anything. Feel like hostage. How to encourage other party to do do something?

I and my then girlfriend bought a house in 2003 as joint owners, I essentially paid the entire 60K down payment on the house and I’ve been paying 55% of the mortgage payments. We’ve since split up (for quite a few years), but it’s a big house and we’ve been civil, both living in our own parts of the house. It’s time to get out of the situation. I suggested she buy me out (take the value of the house – loan balance) subtract off my original down payment and then divide 45/55 like the payments and I’m on my way. She doesn’t have the cash and could not afford to get a loan herself so that option turns out not to be possible. So I offered to buy her out for the similar deal or we could sell the house — buying her out made a better proposition than selling it since there are no realtor fees to be paid. I do have the means to buy her out and qualify for a new loan. She’s flat out refused to do anything and just starts crying saying it’s her home. Even bringing up taking it to court for them to partition the place (probably like how we’d divide it up anyway) doesn’t get her to do anything. The court option just seems expensive and time consuming and messy. It would be nice to stay friends after all is said and done, but the court route seems sure to nix that. I keep trying to sweeten the deal by conceding it to be 50/50 after subtracting my down payment (about 15K more to her) and even giving her a bunch of furniture and some appliances and she’s still not willing to do anything. At one point she said she’d fight, but when I asked what would she win since the court would still sell the house if it came to a lawsuit, she just broke down crying again. I don’t want to keep pushing her, but if I don’t, she will pretend there isn’t a problem and nothing will ever happen. The longer it gets drawn out, the more like a hostage I feel. Has anyone else had a real estate issue like this that they had to try to push someone else to settle? How were you able to get the other party to agree to some course of action? I know I could convert to a tenants in common and then be able to sell my share, but who would want to buy into this kind of situation. Are there other ways to partition a property and exit the loan and be able to cash out ones share of the equity? Thanks for everyone’s thoughts.  Naboo…



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